Graceface here. Sagittarius. Singaporean. MGS'01-'10. MGS
Drama Society Society of Dramatic Arts '07-'10. ACS(I) 5.12'11 - 6.12'12. ACSIS '11-'12. !nk '11-'12
- Singaporean, but somewhat on the periphery of things.
- A little of a writer, editor, actress, student, etc., but mostly and above all a dreamer.
- An obsessive introspective of the self-centred and vaguely exhibitionist variety. Hence the blog.
- Obsessed with words and how they work.
- Ignorant and uncomfortably aware of it. Also in denial about it.
- Very young, very immature.
- Easily crushed by feeling.
I write because I can't break the habit.
Doors (9)
Monday, 27 May 2013 20:37
Amherst College (29/3)
Brown University (28/3)
Columbia University (28/3)
Cornell University (28/3)
Harvard University (??/?)
Princeton University (28/3)
Tufts University (29/3)
University of Chicago (16/3)
University of Michigan (28/3)
University of California, B (28/3)
University of California, LA (22/3)
Yale University (28/3)
Yale-NUS College (8/5)
National University of Singapore (03/05)
(Biz Ad/Comm and New Media)
NUS University Scholars Programme
Nanyang Technological University (04/05)
(Art, Design and Media)
Nanyang/College Scholarship
Singapore Press Holdings Scholarship
National Arts Council Scholarship (Arts/Management)
Media Development Authority Scholarship
Ministry of Communication and Information Scholarship
Ministry of Education Teaching Scholarship
PSC Scholarship
0 comments
Amherst: Waitlisted
Monday, 20 May 2013 00:56
The essay I'm the most proud of, I think. The task was to write a personal response to the given quote.
“Literature is the best way to overcome death. My father, as I said, is an actor. He’s the happiest man on earth when he’s performing, but when the show is over, he’s sad and troubled. I wish he could live in the eternal present, because in the theater everything remains in memories and photographs. Literature, on the other hand, allows you to live in the present and to remain in the pantheon of the future. Literature is a way to say, I was here, this is what I thought, this is what I perceived. This is my signature, this is my name.”
- Ilán Stavans, Professor of Spanish, Amherst College
As both a writer and an actress, I agree that the work you do on a page keeps a lot better than on a stage; even with photographs, the full effect of an actor’s craft only lasts as long as the lives of the audience. Books last longer, so it makes sense that if you want to leave yourself somewhere beyond the grave, you write yourself down.
Still, the idea of preserving yourself in writing doesn't sit well with me. I can’t expect literature to perfectly represent me, especially as a fiction writer. Literature is an indirect method of transcription, and error in converting person to word to person is unavoidable. You risk misinterpretation; you risk others projecting themselves onto what you meant to be something else. Once you release your writing into the world, it changes, inevitably. My awareness of this dissonance explains my effort, as my Common Application essay describes, to match word to thought as perfectly as possible. Regardless, I’ll never feel comfortable investing myself into my work and expecting it to stick.
Instead, my drive to create isn't about preserving myself. I would rather my words be used as a vessel that others pour themselves into to look at like a mirror. I want to evoke them in them, not myself in them. That’s why acting brings me as much fulfilment as writing. Perhaps my name won’t be carried into the future, but I'm satisfied with simply living in many, many presents. Whether the ideas I inspire are mine or not, I still inspire them, and I know that, no matter how imperceptibly, those ideas last lifetimes. My ashes will line the lungs of those that see me and read me, and be breathed into those that come after them. That’s death overcome enough, for me.
0 comments
Doors (8)
Friday, 17 May 2013 02:52
Amherst College (29/3)
Brown University (28/3)
Columbia University (28/3)
Cornell University (28/3)
Harvard University (??/?)
Princeton University (28/3)
Tufts University (29/3)
University of Chicago (16/3)
University of Michigan (28/3)
University of California, B (28/3)
University of California, LA (22/3)
Yale University (28/3)
Yale-NUS College (8/5)
National University of Singapore (03/05)
(Biz Ad/Comm and New Media)
NUS University Scholars Programme
Nanyang Technological University (04/05)
(Art, Design and Media)
Nanyang/College Scholarship
Singapore Press Holdings Scholarship
National Arts Council Scholarship (Arts/Management)
Media Development Authority Scholarship
Ministry of Communication and Information Scholarship
Ministry of Education Teaching Scholarship
PSC Scholarship
0 comments
Doors (7)
Wednesday, 8 May 2013 14:38
Amherst College (29/3)
Brown University (28/3)
Columbia University (28/3)
Cornell University (28/3)
Harvard University (??/?)
Princeton University (28/3)
Tufts University (29/3)
University of Chicago (16/3)
University of Michigan (28/3)
University of California, B (28/3)
University of California, LA (22/3)
Yale University (28/3)
Yale-NUS College (8/5)
National University of Singapore (03/05)
(Biz Ad/Comm and New Media)
NUS University Scholars Programme
Nanyang Technological University (04/05)
(Art, Design and Media)
Singapore Press Holdings Scholarship
National Arts Council Scholarship (Arts/Management)
Media Development Authority Scholarship
Ministry of Communication and Information Scholarship
Ministry of Education Teaching Scholarship
PSC Scholarship
But my NAC Arts interview was pretty okay. And with this new rejection, it makes things even more unclear (does that even make sense I mean closing off possibilities should make things even less clear)
Ironically, I was re-reading Bakuman when I found out about the application results, and the protagonists had literally just achieved the goal they'd set for themselves since the beginning of the series.
They didn't get it at the expense of anyone else. Just one person, but that person was doing incredibly well for himself anyway.
Most things I read have happy endings. Or at least, conclusive endings. I need to stop thinking of my life as a narrative.
0 comments
Doors (5)
Wednesday, 1 May 2013 01:42
Amherst College (29/3)
Brown University (28/3)
Columbia University (28/3)
Cornell University (28/3)
Harvard University (??/?)
Princeton University (28/3)
Tufts University (29/3)
University of Chicago (16/3)
University of Michigan (28/3)
University of California, B (28/3)
University of California, LA (22/3)
Yale University (28/3)
Yale-NUS College (15/5)
National University of Singapore (??/?)
Nanyang Technological University (??/?)
Singapore Press Holdings Scholarship
National Arts Council Scholarship (Arts/Management)
Media Development Authority Scholarship
Ministry of Communication and Information Scholarship
Ministry of Education Teaching Scholarship
PSC Scholarship
Blue means committed (:
Closed a few doors today, and I'm so much closer to deciding what I'm going to do with the next four (or maybe ten) years of my life.
Turning down an Ivy was so, so hard for my proud heart, and it's going to take quite a while before the pangs of regret die down. But Tufts, in the end, is a better school for me than Cornell. Nearly everyone I talked to who had an opinion about it told me that Tufts seemed like a better school for me, even the random Cornell admit that FB messaged me out of the blue. I sometimes question the very existence of this, but my gut tells me I made the right decision.
If I don't get a scholarship or I get an offer from Yale-NUS College though, it'll throw the entire thing off-kilter again.
Oh well. My gut also tells me it's not over yet. Far from over.
0 comments
Updated 29/8/2012
Short-Term
- Go to UStudios with ACSIS to celebrate the birthdays of Carolyn, Danyal and myself
- Go for Prom 2012
- Drink some amount of alcohol for my 18th birthday
After That (Small Things)
- Write a fanfiction if I haven't done that already
- Play MapleStory again
- Play Audition again
- Watch a series (Game of Thrones, House, Sherlock, an anime, I don't even know)
- Learn how to cook
After That (Big Things)
- Post-IB production
- Edit the only finished novel I've ever written
- Write that collab with Sheralyn
- Write something else?
- Apply for universities
- Apply for scholarships
Books to Read
- 1984 by George Orwell [unfinished]
- Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand [not started]
- Good Omens by Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman [not started]
- Norwegian Wood by Haruki Murakami [not started]
- Dubliners by James Joyce [the whole thing; unfinished]
- Ulysses by James Joyce [not owned]
- The Sandman series by Neil Gaiman [not owned]
- Watchmen by Alan Moore [not owned]
- V. by Thomas Pynchon [unfinished]
- Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy [a proper read; unfinished]
- The Coffin That Wouldn't Bury by Jeffrey Lim [unfinished]
- Brave New World by Aldous Huxley [not started]
- Written on the Body by Jeanette Winterson [not owned]